These Walls are My Skin
Deer friend,
What are you hiding?
There are secrets in this room. I have one in my pocket and I leave them in these words for some of you.
Two years ago, light and absence caught my attention. Now they converge and I notice how kind the dark is.
I had a friend who lost her vision, but she still climbed mountains in her dreams.
This January, I spent four consecutive days in total darkness. When the outside becomes one visual field, the inside lights up! I suspend my attention between the two and watch how they blur. You can do this in the light, too.
I look down. I feel my heartbeat in my hands. When I lose my shadow for good, I hope someone casts her in plaster and turns my bones into charcoal.
Let’s share secrets. What color hides behind your eyes? Maybe I’ll tell you where I buried the heart.
Special thanks to The Oregon Extension for the continued community and support.
And for keeping my secrets.
With the generous aid of the Walter and Sarah Knestrick Award, Nichols continued her undergraduate research on absence and light by attending a Skycave Dark Retreat in Southern Oregon. This involved sitting in absolute darkness for four consecutive days. After attending the retreat in January 2025, she was offered a summer job at Skycave making food for the people in the dark. Nichols developed this body of work while living and working there.